Zombitude

I've figured out what the deal is with zombies. They suffer from death apnea, a condition that interrupts their normal death and causes them to go slouching around, making weird noises and trying to eat people's brains. What they need are E-NAP (Eternal Negative Air Pressure) machines that would suck all the air out of them so they could go back to being normally dead and leave everyone else the fuck alone. Are you listening, health care industry? Which begs the question: would insurance pay for the machines? We couldn't very well blame the zombies if they couldn't afford the machines. After all, whatever it is they do doesn't pay a lot, except for the ones that manage to get into government. 

The Lewy Body Song

The Lewy Body Song

Sung to the music of 

"Meet Me In St. Louis" 

New lyrics © 2021

Daniel R. Shapiro 

You might think I'm screwy, Louis

But you should be aware 

I've got Lewy Bodies, Louis 

For now I'm still all there. 

So I'll stick with my Namenda®

And I'll drink my tea with Splenda®

And I won't say "fooey," Louis

If I know you care,

For the uninitiated: Lewy Body Dementia is the condition with which I was diagnosed recently. Namenda® is the medication that helps me keep it at bay. 

Kanye Shmanye

With which pole of the bipolar multimillionaire are we supposed to empathize: the manic self-aggrandizing assh*le or the depressive apologizing assh*le? How about empathy for the many people who struggle with debilitating emotional conditions and don't have a ranch inWyoming in which to hide out? People make such a big deal about his insult of Harriet Tubman. How about starting a religion with televangelist charlatan Joel Osteen or running for President which would just distract from important issues? Get a grip and grow up (directed at both him and those who enable him). 

Wealthy Zombies

There's a TV series called The Walking Dead about people dealing with a zombie apocalypse. Now that the government has given all that money to dead people, there could be a series called The Limo-Riding Dead. 

Religion & Pandemics

I purchase the ingredients for my sodas - carbon dioxide canisters and syrups - from a company called SodaStream. The products are made in Israel, on the West Bank in fact, which brings up issues I may discuss at another time.

Because of the current pandemic, the factory must be closed because my favorite flavors, diet ginger ale and diet lemonade, aren't available. I'm planning to write the following to the company:

I hope the regular flavors will be available by Rosh Hashanah. Otherwise you will have a lot to atone for on Yom Kippur. 

Lying

If Trump lies as much as he does, maybe he lied when he took the oath of office. His defense could be that he wasj0ust  kidding.

Surprises and Regrets

I've said a number of times that if anyone had told me 20 years ago that I'd see a Black President, legal marijuana, and same-sex marriage in my lifetime I would have rolled my eyes and gone back to smoking my illegal marijuana. Not to mention that we may very well have a woman President very soon.

Regrettably we still have capital punishment, despite how many inmates have been exonerated. It's so ridiculous that we have one state reinstating the firing squad because there's a shortage of the lethal chemicals. Maybe they should use the chemicals that murderers use on their victims.

And of course there's still racism but I doubt if that will ever go away. Look what goes in Africa and the Middle East, though in the Middle East it's more religious than racial.

There's always good news and bad news. Going to Mars might be a good thing, though I doubt if I will live to see that.