World's Biggest Problem

The biggest problem facing the world right now is not poverty, disease, war, or global warming but rather the fact that there are men's jeans that cost in the vicinity of $100 and people are buying them! (I say men's jeans because women will buy anything at any price.)

Chinese Rebus

Alternate Speculations

1. If Bill Gates, with the $34 billion from Warren Buffett, finds a cure for AIDS, maybe people will stop writing so many Windows-targeted viruses.

2. Maybe Bill Gates should take the $34 billion and instead of trying to find a cure for AIDS, he should find a way to make Microsoft programs less annoying.

Kill The Messenger

Someone should start a messenger service whose employees are all death row inmates. Then one could kill the messenger and actually be performing a useful service.

Viva Globalization!

Congratulations to the National Football League for playing its first regular season game in Mexico City. Now that the Mexicans have those of our jobs that have been left over by the Chinese and the Indians, I guess they can afford to buy tickets to football games.

Thinning the Herd

So the good news is that all the iPod people will go deaf, and they won't hear when somebody yells "Look out! A safe is about to fall on your head!," and then they'll die.

Mind you, I'm not in principle against MP3s or compact MP3 players. It's just iPods and downloading as a "lifestyle," not to mention the crappy music that most of those people listen to.

New Religion

There's a new religion of Bush the Father, Bush the Son, and Bush the Holy Crap How Could Anyone Be That Stupid and Insensitive!*

*“And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this is working very well for them." - Barbara Bush after touring the refugee camp at the Houston Astrodome.