Appointments

Too bad President Bush doesn't have the power to appoint the director of the Planetarium. Then he could appoint someone who believes that the earth is flat and the sun revolves around it.

Martin Luther King, Jr.Memorial

If Martin Luther King, Jr. had known that Dubya was going to attend the groundbreaking ceremony for his memorial, he might have said "I have a nightmare."

Strategic Planning

If everyone who vigorously opposes gay marriage turns out to be gay (e.g. the mayor of Spokane, Ted Haggard), then there may come a time when no one will want to speak out against gay marriage for fear of being thought of as gay. (Hey, maybe the President is gay and that's why Laura has the frozen smile all the time.) So then it would be a good time to push for changing the laws to allow same-sex marriage.

World's Biggest Problem

The biggest problem facing the world right now is not poverty, disease, war, or global warming but rather the fact that there are men's jeans that cost in the vicinity of $100 and people are buying them! (I say men's jeans because women will buy anything at any price.)

Chinese Rebus

Alternate Speculations

1. If Bill Gates, with the $34 billion from Warren Buffett, finds a cure for AIDS, maybe people will stop writing so many Windows-targeted viruses.

2. Maybe Bill Gates should take the $34 billion and instead of trying to find a cure for AIDS, he should find a way to make Microsoft programs less annoying.